You is Better Than “Almost” Them.

Lack of SELF AWARENESS forces us to hide our God given abilities and talents, when we try to become like someone else.

My heart broke into pieces on a zoom call with one of my clients the other day. We spend quality time together discovering what works and eliminating what doesn’t depending on their life goals. She continued to discuss with me that she feels disconnected with self and wants to find herself again. She spoke of “her best self”, “I just want to get back to my best self”, she repeated this over and over again.

As a guide, statements like these are the ones to hold on to and dig a little deeper into. I needed more context, so I asked her, “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”, she responded with a yes, as if, of course!

I asked her, “I am listening to you talk and from what I hear, your aim is to get back to the best version of yourself, what does that mean for you? When you think of that person, what does she do, what does she love, how does she show up in life?”.

She sat in silence for what felt like five minutes and began to cry.

“I don’t know”, she whispered in the middle of wiping away tears.

I legit died.

My heart ached for her soul because she couldn’t describe to me what that even meant. She didn’t even know what she was working towards. We see on social media the formula for being your best self and it so shallowly involves working out, drinking your morning greens and coffee, journaling, walking your dog, and if you are lucky living by a beach. WHAT?!

Can I just be raw with you? About two weeks ago, I was one of those influencers who added to this mentality. Your best self has nothing to do with anything external. It has all to do with who you ARE right now in all your mess and chaos. You are the best version of yourself now because it has all to do with your heart, mind, and soul. When you were born, you were blessed uniquely with God given talents and abilities. A specific set of DNA, a fingerprint that matches no other, qualities that are unique to you, talents that were designed specifically for you.

Your purpose for existing would be complete based solely off of the fact that you were designed so uniquely. What we fail to realize is that God wants you as the person you are. He actually gets offended when we pretend to be something else based off of Instagram “how to be your best self” guidelines.

I don’t diminish the necessity of working out and being healthy, or drinking your morning greens and coffee. It is our responsibility to take care of our bodies, but are you doing that just so that you can look like someone else? Be shaped like “body goals” whatever that even means? Why are you running yourself into the ground trying to be everything that you aren’t instead of holding a magnifying glass over everything that you are and tapping into your specific capabilities?

You weren’t meant to be or look like anyone but you. Why blend in? Why do what everyone is doing even when it drains your soul and you have no deep rooted desire to spend your time doing it?

Your passions are part of your purpose. Your talents are part of your purpose. Your gifts and abilities are part of your purpose. That part of your soul that gets goosebumps when you are surrounded by something that fills you up is part of your purpose. Why are you robotically choosing to ignore what you have been given and try to adopt something that was never made for you?

I am reading a book called The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, and he said, “Anytime you reject any part of yourself, you are rejecting God’s wisdom and sovereignty in creating you”. That hit. I’m in a space now where I want to see the quirkier sides of me. I embrace myself more and love all the sides of me. I am not perfect at this but when I relish in the beauty that is me and realize there is only one Deanna on this planet, I appreciate myself more.

The you that God created is needed. Not the watered down version covered in Instagram filters, or the you that tries to fit in because you feel you are less than. You are needed, just you. The humble, transparent version of you. If you have read this far, this isn’t a self love hyped up reading, it’s learning to respect who created you and how you were created.

You can love what you don’t respect. The two are in a relationship.

Practically, I have some prompts for you that will help with dissecting the essence of you ( not entirely, self discovery is a life long road, but this will help you start).

If you find yourself trying to do everything your favorite influencer does as a means of the best version of yourself, ask yourself, if no one was around and I had an entire week to myself, what would I do with my time?

If money was of no concern, if there was nothing to post about because Instagram didn’t exist, how would you spend your time? What job could you do forever and it does not feel like work? How would you spend your weekends? What really matters to you? What daily actions do you find yourself doing that you don’t really enjoy? If you could fix one world problem what would it be and how would you do it?

What parts of life inspire you? If you could help someone today, how would you love to help them? (Remember, you were not put on this earth to simply be magnificent as you are, we are meant to share our gift and talents with others in service).

Now when you have answered each question go back and ask yourself “why”. Write the answer. Then ask yourself why again. Write down your answer. Do this about 5 times until you feel you can’t get any deeper.

You’ll start to come to the root of your integrity which is the essence of who you are. God created you for a larger purpose outside of yourself. To know and love yourself is a great step, but to share the real you with others in service is also a part of your reason for being.

Make a commitment today to start moving and walking in your integrity. Your truest soul’s desires and find ways to serve others with your gifts and talents.

This is the beginning stages of tapping into your best self, BUT it begins with the real YOU.