Where Do You Find Significance?

Where do you place your worth?

This question prompts some of my deepest fears. Significance, the google term for this word is “the quality of being worthy of attention; importance”. I found my significance in likes and follows from strangers I have never met. I found my significance in a certain amount of people’s comments on a post. Empty words from people who only saw a fraction of me; better yet, the fake me.

Where do you find your importance in life? It could be as a mother, coffee shop owner, a personal trainer, a CEO to a billion dollar company. Now, close your eyes and see yourself stripped of every role you have ever taken on in this lifetime. Remove the title of a mother, remove the title of a coffee shop owner, remove the title of a personal trainer, remove the title of a CEO. What is left?

We live in a world where the more we share, the more significant we are found. The more numbers, the more important we are. The more money, the more status we possess. But, if we stripped the numbers away? What is left? What would you be composed of when no one else is there to provide significance for you?

Earlier this year in January 2021, my Instagram was disabled for a week. Now let me give you a little backstory. My Instagram was everything. 184k followers. Athlete Sponsorships. Photoshoots. Endless clients coming out of nowhere. This is where I built a name for myself. Deanna, the consistent. Deanna, the dedicated. Deanna, with the booty goals. Deanna, with the “body goals”. Deanna, with a pretty face. These are the comments I would get left and right. Most if not all comments came from the generosity of people’s hearts and for that I am forever grateful. I allowed myself to let their significance in me through validation become my only means of significance and that is where the problem started.

I allowed it to linger and kept it around because it stroked my ego. Who was I if they didn’t find me important. Who was I if someone didn’t tell me I was amazing. I survived on a comment from a stranger, who probably had distorted views of self as well. I needed validation from people who didn’t find their validation in God. They made me feel important but the only one that I needed to find me important was God. There is something so freeing about releasing the need for external validation. I NEEDED it, like an addiction constantly checking my phone for updated likes and comments. If one post didn’t do so well, I would feel less seen. God saw me. If a post got more attention, I would feel seen. God still saw me. The crazy thing is, He saw the real me. The me behind the insecurities. The me that needed validation around my body alone. The me that needed praise for hitting a new PR. The me that really saw myself as insignificant because “what was left if they can’t visually see me”. I needed them to see me, but God saw right through it.

What happens when we strip ourselves from the need to be seen and validated by people? We are left with self. We are left to face what no one sees. Do I even like this person? Am I significant when no one is around to see what I am accomplishing? Am I significant when no one sees my growth? Am I significant if no one sees my success? Am I significant if no one can see?

There is one person who sees it all. The good, bad and the ugly. He sees.

I believe the deep rooted issue is that when the only one whose significant matters finds your active daily living insignificant, your faith insignificant, your accomplishments insignificant, your success insignificant, what are you left with? A nobody.

An empty vessel.

This hurts the ego, I am sure of it because I have experienced it. To accomplish so many amazing things in life; status, wealth, a fraction of fame, but for all the wrong reasons and realize it is all in vain (for the glory of self), THEN realize that it means NOTHING feels like time wasted. You mean, I have done nothing worth living for? Well then, why am I here?

His purpose and that alone. You see, I have found my worth in things. I have found my worth in numbers. I have found my worth in likes, comments, and shares, and NONE of it mattered. If you haven’t experienced an identity crisis, LET ME TELL YOU, it sucks.

You begin to question your existence. You are here though, so that must mean something. You are here for more than what you have been giving. This is where the problem is. We are so tied up as a human race in accumulating things and finding significance in things, that IF, the world went to shambles, we wouldn’t even know who we are. If something was lost, what would then be found?

He created you so in that alone we can find significance. That has to be enough. The purpose and plan for your life isn’t wrapped up in how many followers you have. Your significance is in His ability to use you for His calling.

You aren’t amazing because you have been on the cover of Forbes. You aren’t amazing because you are a mother. You aren’t amazing because you are a coffee shop owner. You aren’t amazing because you are the CEO. Those are titles that when stripped away leave you with you.

He sees you as significant in your mess, in the chaos, in your self neglect, in your disobedience, in your selfishness, in your unforgiveness. He sees the real you and still finds you important because before you lived and accomplished, He created you in His own image and THAT is magical.

You don’t need a man to validate your worth. You don’t need a job title to make you feel accomplished. You don’t need to sleep with woman after woman to feel wanted. You don’t need to lose 30 lbs. to be accepted. You don’t need a degree to be seen as valued.

You need Him. Ironically, he already finds you significant as the person that you truly are, so where are you placing your significance, if not in Him?