Un-Churched
“I am, that I am.” Moses asked God, “Who shall I tell them that you are?” (Exodus 3:13–14) I found this part of the story so intricate. As I allow God to redefine who He is to me, I am awestruck at the limitless potential He possesses. I think God didn’t say, “I am this”, or “I am that” so that we wouldn’t be able to label Him and limit Him based on our common human knowledge. If in our minds, He is limited to a label, we lack faith and doubt in His capabilities in so many other areas of our lives. We then leave it up to ourselves to work it out, get through it, or process it, and He wants to intervene and help us with all intricacies in life.
I grew up in church. What I grew up in is what made me want to deny Christianity as a whole. It was gross; judgmental, racial, ignorant, biased, pious, hypocritical, honestly I could go on for hours, but what a waste of energy to speak of a place that pushes people from God not towards Him. The church was run by a family with rules and regulations and if anyone occupying space at the church didn’t operate within those bounds, they were not accepted, which is the exact opposite of the compassion and love of God. No wonder people hate Christians. Religion is prioritized over relationship in order to fill holes that are man made. The church was dead. No life, nobody set on fire for God, just repetition after repetition. Rinse and repeat. I believe if the heart and posture of God was shown in the best way we know how to communicate it (based on the Holy Spirit ordering our steps), more people would find the house of God their safe place. Instead, it’s a place where they are judged, humiliated, and reminded of how unworthy they are instead of how worthy our Savior is.
The focus is on what we aren’t, not what He is, and so, left to human devices, what could be astronomical intervention ends up being routine, money obsessed, and judgmental. When the focus is on who He is, we can then know who we are. This is never what God intended the church to be and I believe He is misrepresented across the world in places that should be overflowing. (This is not a dig on churches, I consistently go to one now that has helped change my life, and I love it because of the heart of the church and how they direct me to my Creator). I had to wash myself from the residue that church left in my youth and revisit what spirituality meant for me in my adulthood.
What do I mean by “wash myself from the residue” that church left? When I decided to be curious about spirituality again, I wanted to know what it could be like for me, and that meant ridding myself of all stigmas and bias from my past experience. How often do we push away the exact thing that propels us into freedom because of how it was misrepresented in our past. I would go into this with a clean slate and open ended possibilities, and He has done more than I ever could have imagined. This is how important YOU are to Him. Lean in.
You see, this is how powerful our God is. If one pastor, preacher, counselor, or mentor can share a lesson and that same lesson reaches billions of lives, don’t you think God can speak to us simultaneously and independently of the other at the same time. He is omnipresent, meaning everywhere at once. I think we confuse the belief that spirituality is a one way path. There are certain aspects of spirituality that resemble each other for example, God speaks through His word, through visions, and dreams, and through people. But, this is not the only way He is able to speak. Again here, we put Him into a box and believe that He will only do for me what I have seen Him do and be for others, but that is not true. In the EXACT SAME SITUATION, God might speak to one person that they need to take a step here. He will speak to another that they need to be still, yet still, He will speak to someone else to run full force into what He has called them to. It will be different because He did not create clones and robots.
He is the same God yesterday, today, and forever, but He is limitless in His abilities to give each of us a different path spiritually. He does not change, but we confuse change with capabilities. He is not limited in His will to remain the same. We have yet to experience Him in His fullness. I believe my mind would explode, so I am ok with the pieces I have the opportunity to witness. What will be your path through spirituality won’t be what someone else needs to do or be. And so, many times people distance themselves from “the Christian thing to do” because “the Christian thing to do” is based on someone else’s spiritual path.
What if you broke the barriers for what spirituality could mean for you?
It does not need to have the same regulations, guidance, gateways, valleys, successes like someone else’s. If He made your thumbprint to be unlike anyone else’s, give Him a little more credit and allow Him to show you what HE means for YOU; independent of someone else’s experience and I promise you it will be like nothing you have seen before. He doesn’t want you to copy someone else’s religious patterns and live your life accordingly, ask Him. What would this mean for me? What does this look like for me? Is this something I can do or is it something I need to stay away from? Do I need to devote my time here or do you have something else in store for me? Do I need to hop on this opportunity, or do I need to be still?
Your spiritual relationship WILL NOT BE THE SAME as what you have seen from anyone, what you have experienced through anyone, or come from something someone has told you. He wants to show you “Him” based on His path for you. What’s crazy is “living a Christian life” can be chalked up to going to church, reading your Bible, praying, and serving in the church. Now don’t get me wrong, these are all beautiful ways to grow your relationship with Him, but if you leave your heart at home, while in these places, why go? Why DO?
He wants your heart. He wants a relationship. He wants you to talk to Him like you talk to your best friend. He wants you to cry to Him when you’re frustrated. Tell Him this isn’t fair. Let Him cheer you on through success. He wants to weep with you and hold you when your heart is tired. He wants to be your confidence and source of approval. He wants to guide you, not leave you uncertain and worried. He wants to place authority and power in you. He wants to heal your wounds, not place a band-aid over them. He wants YOU; a relationship with you.
He doesn’t want you to just go to church, speak aimless prayers, and open your Bible once every 3 weeks.
He wants to be uniquely yours. Counter-cultural. A commitment. Everything else tells us we need to do something in order to obtain something. He just wants you to be curious about Him. What if you said, “God, who will you be to me?”
There’s something about God that becomes thrilled when we lean in. Did you know sometimes practicing faith is just leaning in, not even taking a whole step. His word says all you need is the faith of a mustard seed. He will speak uniquely to you in a way that is powerful because He knows you. You are His creation and His child. It won’t be like it was for someone else. It can’t be through their lens.
Lean in. Be curious about what He could be to you specifically, not what you’ve seen from your childhood, or what was taught to you religiously, but as the person you are today.
I don’t feel this perception is shared quite frequently and people are turned from spirituality because of what religion says we must do and how we must behave. If you really believe God cares about a piercing and your hair color over your heart, then we have yet again, confined Him to a shallow box based on our appearance and all He is saying is “Come and lean into me, just as you are. Nothing more, nothing less.”
He just wants you with all the broken pieces, with all that you have done or haven’t done. He doesn’t care about religious laws or antics that outwardly portray what Christians look like because He so clearly rebuked and questioned people in the church who lived based on law not His heart. If you saw me outwardly, you might second guess what I choose to believe in, but I spend every morning praying that He reveals to me what He wants to be to me and what He wants me to be for Him; not based on any shallow societal standard that came from another human mind. And He answers every time. And He continues to mold me and shape me and refine me in His way specifically designed for me.
Church is for community. Community is necessary so you have people to walk through life with. Community is not meant to condemn, and if your church is more focused on judgment, rules and regulations than on the heart of you uniquely, and pointing you to Him for guidance, no one is telling you to stay. Ask God, what does He say about church FOR YOU? How frequently do you want me to go? When I go, do you want me to serve? If so, where? How much? How often? Is this church the one you want me to give time and attention to?
To be transparent, I have carried the internal pressure of serving in church and when I asked God “what do You say to me about it?”, He pointed me in a specific direction. “Do this, and don’t do that. Go here, and don’t go there right now.” Sometimes we carry internal pressures because we think just because it seems spiritual or religious that we should be doing it, but this is a man-made pressure. Ask Him. Or better yet, tell Him, “I know the Bible says this about that, but what do you say about this FOR ME?
Personalize your spirituality because it is personal. There is no match. There is no copy.
You see how we can easily place church in a box without God when this is one of the monumental places where He meets with us. Notice I did not say the only place. He will meet you at Krispy Kreme, in the drive thru, at a basketball game, at the gym, etc. It’s about the heart of the Spirit, not a building with a bunch of rules. To take it a step further, meeting Him means going somewhere. He is within you so you can have “church” right where you are.
I don’t live my life based on the do’s and don’t of religion or spirituality because just like God made my thumb print unique, He made my spiritual path unique. It won’t match anyone else’s. I don’t have to copy what I have seen. I can go to Him and ask Him questions about religious topics and perspectives and say, “What do you say about this, FOR ME?
When He answers you, because He will (He delights in us when we involve Him in our thoughts) you can live in confidence because of what He spoke to you, not having to defend your spiritual walk to anyone because He speaks specifically and uniquely to each of us. My path won’t be your path. Your path won’t be my path, and we can celebrate our spiritual differences because the main mission is being accomplished = a relationship with Him.
“Lean in. Revisit Me, as I am”.
A new relationship- Hebrews 8:6–13
