The Cloud of Doubt
I wonder if the reason is my doubt. I’ve been dissecting what it means to ask for wisdom and discernment. I find when these two are granted to me, I am able to see one situation from several perspectives and broaden my ability to exercise perception. What if the reason for silence is my doubt?
Sometimes I believe when it comes to faith, believing is a portion. If doubt can overcome the belief then why provide someone with means to believe. The Holy Spirit gives me chance after chance to step out in courage with where He leads, but I wonder if sometimes He withholds information or repetitive information because He knows we will allow our doubt to overcome His yes.
What if it’s not that He hasn’t answered us, what if our doubt cloud is so large it overshadows His answer sometimes even after He has already given it. We continue to limit Him to a box based on our own understanding and what we are able to perceive. My son asked me yesterday, why does it feel like God doesn’t talk back to me. One of the greatest questions a six year old could ask. Honestly, my heart gets so excited to have these conversations with him, but at the same time my fear creeps in and tells me to give him the shallow watered down version because I can’t explain it well enough or He won’t understand; both of which are false.
Doubt.
I began to explain to him the importance of positioning. What does that mean? Well, I believe that God speaks consistently, if we feel His voice is silent, all we have to do is look around and nature speaks to His creativity. He is always speaking directly or indirectly to us. His voice cannot be silenced, so what if a better question is why can’t I hear him?
Positioning.
Am I in a consistent enough place to hear Him when He speaks. Explaining to a six year old, the best way I knew how, was to use His word as an example, and so, I googled a bible verse on fear. I read the verse aloud. Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you….”. I asked him what that meant to him and his response was, “He is saying to me that He will never leave me”. Amazing. I then went on to tell him that what I heard from the same verse is that I can move forward in life, don’t fear because He will always be with me. Two different meanings, one verse. I explained to him that God can speak to us in different ways from the same words.
His eyes grew wide as if he’d come to some euphoric moment.
We have to position ourselves to hear him, but more specifically so He can speak directly to us because we all dissect His voice differently. This is why sometimes you might feel like He is speaking to others and not you and that may be true, but what if you need better or more consistent positioning? To be honest, He might not speak to you the way He speaks to others. We are all His children, and He knows best how to get our attention.
If you’ve ever had a conversation with a friend and withheld information because you knew they wouldn’t believe you or would try to sway the conversation based on their beliefs, well…same. I wonder then if God will withhold information from us that we desire because if He truly opened our eyes or granted our request, our doubt would overtake our ability to access His power anyways.
Maybe the better question isn’t why can’t I hear Him, but am I positioning myself to hear him? When we speak of positioning, this doesn’t always have to do with geographical location, but rather posture. Is my heart and faith ready to receive what it is I am actually requesting or seeking insight to? We want to get mad at the silence when in fact, our faith couldn’t carry His voice even if He gave it to us.
Does your doubt cloud overshadow His voice? Do you doubt that He is speaking to you or better yet, do you doubt His answer when He does speak?
What’s so beautiful is that He does not yell at us. He does not command our attention all the time. He gives us the choice to practice faith or doubt. He lets us choose. So what will we choose; to be frustrated by our perceived silence from Him? Will we check our position of faith or our position of doubt?
It’s bigger than His silence, because He speaks consistently. He is speaking of His love for you with each breath that you breathe. He speaks through His compassion by seeing you As You Are, and not by your mistakes. He speaks to your importance and significance by your unique design. He speaks calm and peace to you through nature. He speaks to the importance of your rest by creating the moon and nighttime. He speaks to His provision by providing you with food, shelter, and clothing.
He speaks, but is it our doubt that causes us not to hear. Is it our doubt that stops Him from oversharing because you wouldn’t believe it anyways. Perhaps the better question is….
Is my doubt creating distance between my ability to listen or my ability to perceive His voice and direction? Don’t take my word for it, become curious and see what you feel is spoken to you through your own reading.
James 1:4–7
“Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you MUST believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” -NIV
Don’t inquire if we don’t have the faith enough to believe in His response. A lesson for me, I just happen to share it with you.
