Of love + heartbreak. Of having Enough.
When will it ever be enough. Have you experienced a time in a relationship when you have given your all, I mean, every fiber of your being in loyalty, trust, support, consideration, nurturing, security, and it just didn’t seem like enough?
Let me remind you to keep your heart open. She said WHAT?!? You mean after having my heart ripped from my chest, you’re telling me I need to keep my heart open? Yes. That is exactly what I mean. The world suggests we protect. We keep it from. We don’t let others in. We shield ourselves; but can I explain to you that doing exactly that stops us from receiving the love from the universe that we have extended when it didn’t seem enough.
I am an avid believer that what you extend to any source outside of yourself, whether good or bad, will come back to you tenfold. You aren’t wrong for continuing to try. You are strong when most would crumble and secure themselves. But you have to realize, what one person doesn’t honor, the universe sees. You will need that love that you so graciously gave out one day, and trust me, it will come back, but receiving is key.
I am preaching to the choir when I say that I used to be a “one and done” kind of person. Offend me once and you no longer exist to me anymore. It was that easy. I was eager to cut someone off at a moment’s notice, because well naturally, “HOW DARE THEY!?” I have deleted a whole sister from my life for over a year because I couldn’t see myself; because I thought how dare she? What I didn’t realize is I was stopping my own heart from receiving the love I was going to need in the future. I was only taking from myself and WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS. We need love. We thrive off of feeling like we belong, like someone else has our back, like we aren’t alone navigating this thing we call life as an earthling.
When will it be enough? When will my love and my all be enough? Ever asked yourself this before? Well, same. It hurts. You feel less than, misunderstood, unseen, taken for granted. Your feelings are valid and they are real but remember they do not have to be your reality. We can release those feelings and separate them from the reality of the situation. I am not misunderstood, I am not less than, I am not unseen, and I am not taken for granted, although I FEEL it.
It is then that we begin healing and allow ourselves to remain open to receive love and continue to give love. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is a time to remove yourself from a relationship that no longer serves you. BUT, and this is a big but, if you have to step away for the sake of your mental sanity, AND you gave your all, keep that heart open honey. Let it soar into the new love the universe is waiting to give you. Don’t become cold hearted, broken, and unreceptive to what is rightfully yours. Notice, that love can come from a stranger. It can come from nature. It can come from self. It can come from a pet. It can come from a sister, a mother, a brother, a father, a friend. Staying bitter only stops you from receiving what you deserve. Love comes in all shapes and forms. Just because you didn’t get back the type of love you wanted from one, doesn’t mean you can receive it in another form, from another source.
I call this the love cycle. Oftentimes we confine ourselves to believing the exact type of love we give should be the exact type of love we receive and our minds box us into a tunnel vision way of thinking. Remain open to it. Remain constant in the pursuit of the love you deserve. It’s there but allow yourself to receive in an open minded way. Love is waiting. The kind that keeps you going. The kind that uplifts and encourages you. The kind that deepens your faith. The kind that feels like a warm blanket and a fire on a snowy night. The kind that strengthens every fiber of your being. It may come from the most unexpected way.
The beautiful thing is that it is awaiting you to receive it.
