Integrity v. Identity
In this place you can be.
Identity and Integrity: two words that possess inevitable power if given the surrendering accessibility to become what they were meant to become in you.
Integrity: when a person walks in honesty, truthfulness, and honor. I used to believe that integrity had to do with “if no one was looking, would they steal that piece of candy or not?” And truthfully, that is the most shallow version of what your integrity consists of. Each of us were born with a specific integrity that, if compromised, won’t allow us to live the life we were meant to live; our purpose and reason for being. When we avoid what is inside us, we take on what we think to be true of ourselves. Your ability to tap into what is true of and for you comes from within. It does not have to do with anything accumulated or acquired outside of what is within. Read that again.
Close your eyes.
Picture an open field. Soft, lush, green grass beneath your feet. The earth feels warm between your toes and the sun is shining on your skin. If you look close enough you can see the tiny hairs on your arms raise up as wind blows around you. You are able to feel your presence for the first time in a long time. Feel and see the gift of simply being. You smell jasmine and fresh wood and hear faint birds chirping in the trees nearby. You allow nature to fill you up and breathe in all that is now.
In this place you can be. Breathe in. Breathe out. Imagine no one was around to judge you. There was no standard of beauty. Everyone who entered here was appreciated for their unique talents. No comparison because gratitude for your uniqueness is celebrated. Your past STILL exist, but the current worries of your past do not exist here. You weren’t spending time trying to accumulate possessions or wealth. Breathe in. Breathe out. Money didn’t exist. Power, fame, and status never surfaced here. Just you. No pressure from society, family, relationships, or from within to be more than you are now. Breathe in. Breathe out.
What would you do with your time? What would you use within you to make this magical place better for the next person who had the opportunity to visit? What one thing would you do in this place of peace to give it even more meaning, more restoration, more peace? What would you create so that someone else could live here in harmony? What would you make sure wasn’t allowed to enter here (feelings, emotions, things, types of people)? What rule would you make for this place of peace?
What if everyone who was able to experience this place, also had to leave their unique mark behind with something that would help someone else who would experience it in the future? What would you make sure resided here?
Everything you thought just now has to do with your integrity. The reason you are on earth. Some of you will think of past hurts that others won’t have to encounter here. You will create a gateway for others not to have to experience what you experienced. Others of you thought of things you would create with your hands, mind, and heart that would benefit someone else because of something difficult you went through. Some of you will make sure certain types of people aren’t allowed, a place for justice and reconciliation. Then maybe someone else thought of an open forum to be heard and appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. Still someone thought about a magical moment they experienced in a state of self realization. This would be what they would leave behind so someone else could experience that too. Maybe someone simply doesn’t want to relive their past, so they create a space for healing and understanding of what they went through so they can feel whole again.
Service. Service is in line with your integrity. Integrity is what exists on the inside of you. Integrity is what you do when no one is looking and what you wish you could do when everyone is looking. You can be yourself when you are alone. There is no pressure to be anything other than what you are. You shy away from you when everyone is looking because that version of you might not be accepted, when the truth is everyone is shying away from what is uniquely them so the world never fully gets to see the magic that is within. You will be different from everyone else out there, and that is simply why we hide it. It is different, and different is not celebrated.
If money was of no value, what would you do right now. Try not to think of a job, but rather of your passion. What makes you excited? What could you talk about for hours? What would you enjoy teaching others about? What makes your heart skip a beat? What makes you emotional and see the need for change? What do you feel the world needs more of?
Integrity is what you would do with your life if money, status, power, fame, greed, and selfishness never existed. It is the truth of who you are and the passion for that “thing” that you were born with. When you wonder why you are here, or feel disconnected with where you are at in life, it is because you are out of sync with yourself. That hollow feeling that surfaces when you are working a job just to make money, when you surround yourself with people you don’t actually feel like you belong with, when you laugh at things in a group setting that actually go against what you believe in, when you see something on the news and it unsettles your spirit, when you wake up day after day and feel like you are never doing enough, when you’ve spent the last ten years on a profession that you are good at but were never meant to pursue and feel empty with, when chasing things never brings you joy and fulfillment, when the new house, new car, and new outfit only bring happiness for mere moments, when you feel inside that you are meant for more than what you are doing now, when you attach yourself to something or someone just to feel something even if the feelings are negative….You are out of sync, but you are also not alone.
If you feel this, someone else MUST be feeling it too…..
Identity: the fact of being who or what a person or thing is. A constant.
Let’s break this down together. If we are human beings, yet we constantly change and evolve, we are rarely ever, if ever, fact. And I am not speaking about our DNA, thumbprint, or eye color. Those things are facts, but they are not our being. They are what give us our appearance, nationality, race, etc.
A being is defined as: existence, the nature and essence of a person. Our nature is in line with our integrity or what is within you. Our nature has nothing to do with our physical status, it is our existence. Our nature has nothing to do with our “doing”, it is what resides in us. Our essence is the uniqueness that EXISTS within. We take our identity, a fact, and wrap ourselves up in the external additives that the identity provides us to feel a sense of belonging. Now, if our integrity is what is within us and that is ever evolving, and our identity is outside of us (ex. She is a teacher, this is fact), the reason you feel out of sync is because you have adapted your identity as your integrity. Your reason for being has to do with your integrity. That is one of the first keys to your purpose of being.
I found that when given the opportunity to dissect who I am I would previously write a list of all the titles and roles that make up the person I am. None of these had to do with my integrity, rather the identity I had chosen to adapt. You see, we fear what we do not know and if we do not know what our integrity is we must cling to something familiar to wash a wave of control over the empty spaces inside. How then, will we ever tap into the essence of our integrity, if we succumb to an ideal as shallow as the identities we have adapted?
Identity is not the monster. Identity is not the devil. Identity is not the betrayer of life, rather the ignorance of the definition of identity CAN be. What we allow ourselves to believe is how our life will be molded. You don’t have to wrap yourself in titles to feel accomplished, worthy, or to establish a deep sense of belonging. You don’t have to bind yourself to hurt, regret, or shame. Your integrity can supersede the place of your identity and then your identity can be just that, a fact about you, or something that happened to you, but not you in your wholeness. Your wholeness is your integrity.
Example: One of her roles is a teacher. She is not a teacher. He was abandoned by his parents in the past. He is not abandoned. She experienced neglect as a child. She is not neglected. Don’t take on facts of the ignorance you place your identity in for who you really are, your integrity. Detach, so that you can become restored in what is you. Feelings, roles, titles, experiences are not who you are. You are your integrity.
