4 Avenues: The Suppression of Neglect
Your time on earth is too precious, too meaningful, to keep numbing the pain.
Our culture is built on a constant state of distraction. The amount of advertisements, social media platforms, revolts, political chaos, crime and lack of justice, etc. continually distracts from what I feel our greater purpose as a people are. If we are distracted, we don’t see. This isn’t to say any of the responsibility lies in any constructs that I listed above. Regardless of what is set in our way to distract, we possess the ability to see, to notice, to give attention to. No one is exempt from the power to take notice.
You mean too much to God to stay on this earth in an unhealed version of you. Your purpose is too great to continue suppressing what was intended for your growth.
Responsibility will always be ours individually. For whatever reason, the ability to take responsibility dwindles like a fire burning on it’s last embers. Why? When we don’t have to take responsibility, it’s not our job to create change. Point the finger, blame the upbringing, set fire to the very thing that’s essential for your being.
Last night I was forced into a situation where I had to face myself….
Validation is a huge concept that I feel is untouched because of its ugly truth. We all have childhood traumas that, if not addressed, cause us to act irrationally, unknowingly. We seek validation through others, social media, relationships, food, clothes, money, popularity, you name it. Distractions.
The root is neglect. Now the neglect comes in two forms. Most of the first stage stems from our childhood. The second stage stems from ourselves. I had to take a hard look in the mirror and realize what I was projecting onto someone else, actually stemmed from neglect of self. Ouch. Trust me, I cried when I realized how profound this was for me and how it’s reared its ugly head in my adulthood. I filled a notebook, page after page, top to bottom questioning myself and answering those questions. The truth hurts, but what hurts more is the unaddressed neglect, distractions, and how we allow ourselves to carry that into our present life. We are defensive and protective of ourselves but damage ourselves in the process, unaware of where it keeps us.
I hugged myself on the beach last night and apologized to myself for reacting to life when I didn’t know better. The child in us is just a broken spirit attaching to belief after belief trying to solve what’s been damaged but the answer is within.
This is raw. What I learned about myself, I’m not proud of. But I am proud of noticing my unsettled nature and tending to her even when I didn’t have answers. This is how we find answers. You don’t need a shrink. You don’t need a therapist. You just need a little time and attention to yourself.
In the silence, don’t reach for your phone. Don’t blare loud music to block the thoughts. Breathe and let them surface. They are ugly and scary and most times we want to blame others for our shortcomings but as adults we take responsibility for our lives and create change and that’s something to be proud of. When you are committed to your growth, no distraction or neglect of self will stop what is meant.
I can better regulate my vulnerabilities because I know where they stem from and move forward with confidence because I am facing them. I am strong and well on my way. You are valued but maybe you don’t feel valued because you aren’t valuing yourself. What is distracting you? What are you suppressing? Maybe you feel hurt because you continue to attach to past traumas. Maybe you need attention because you lack giving yourself attention. What is distracting you? What are you suppressing?
It’s you. You are the distraction. You are the suppression. The ugly truth is that you can continue in ignorance or face your reality and heal yourself. You don’t need an apology from others. You don’t need someone to fix how they’ve wronged you. You just need to notice how it affected you and break the cycle. Notice how and what you suppress yourself through. Notice what distracts you from taking a deeper look. You can. You just need to listen to yourself enough to notice. The answers are within.
A few ways we suppress and distract ourselves. Remember even if the suppressant/distraction is outside of self, responsibility to notice lies within.
1. Culture: Culture provides us with many means with which to numb our pain. That could stem from recreational drugs, neglect of integrity, over consumption of alcohol, the need to belong, social media, to name a few.
2. Tradition: Our childhood, “This is just the way I was raised”, or “I’ve always done it this way”, another good one, “I’ve always been this way”, or “That’s just the way I am”. All excuses and ways that we suppress pain and excuse our ability to become better within.
3. Reason or logic: “These are the facts”. So we succumb or suppress the pain because of the facts/what we know to be true, which is rarely ever true. (Ex: my childhood involved x, y, z, therefore I am x, y, z)
4. Emotions: Our feelings dictate our response to life which inevitably dictates our perception of life. Validate the feelings. Suppression of them can spiral you in the opposite direction of growth and hinder your walk in integrity. Sometimes taking a step to look back allows for you to move forward.
These are not all of the ways we suppress, just a few.
Taking notice is always the first step, so be proud if one resonated to you a bit more than the others. This is where the work can begin.
